“If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained.” (John 10:22) (New American Standard 1977)
I told you I’d let you know how I progressed with forgiving the woman who swindled me by advertising herself as a doula, taking my payment and then not attending the birth of my son.
Every time she crossed my mind for a few weeks after my post, I prayed for her. It was awkward. My prayers were short. Then one day I transitioned from asking for God give me His forgiveness for her to praying that HE would forgive her. (Like Jesus prayed for those who crucified Him while he hung on the cross). This was a breakthrough for me. I am confident that the Holy Spirit put the idea into my head.
I found a tremendous relief and freedom when I prayed this way. Somehow when I asked God to forgive her, I felt love for her. My heart softened and changed. I also received a strong impression in my heart that this woman had gone through something awful at a young age. I am able to pray for her now without hesitation to be forgiven and healed, redeemed, and restored.
Of course, I would not seek her out for doula care again or recommend her to others. But I do hope she finds healing for her wounds, whatever they are. I like to imagine meeting her in heaven someday and embracing her joyfully. That might sound a little crazy but it is absolutely the truth.
Can you believe it? Such a beautiful change in my heart. What wild, crazy, scandalous love God has filled us with! What amazing things we are empowered to do through Christ! God enables His children to forgive the unforgivable, love the unlovable, and hope for the unimaginable.